Wall
by xFullmetalSoulx
Summary: Oneshot. How was Kate feeling moments before the kiss? What brought her to the swings in the rain? How does she prepare herself for apologizing to Castle for her mistakes? I've seen so many stories post Always, but none of how she felt during that short span of time. Here's my portrayal. Read and review. Rated T for kissing.


*I do not own Castle, nor could I ever rival the brilliance of Andrew Marlowe*

* * *

**Wall**

Kate Beckett tried calling Castle, though she knew it was in vain to even attempt that. She needed a plan to get back on his good side. She finally understood everything. It only took her four years, right? He had to forgive her. If he wouldn't, she would lose herself and everything she worked for. If nothing else, Kate was a strong and stubborn woman. She won't let something as much as her fears get in the way of what she wants.

Not anymore. She wouldn't hesitate. It was time Castle knew she was ready.

And that conversation couldn't be done over the phone.

In a spur of the moment decision, she grabbed her keys and jacket. Hardly remembering to lock the door, she practically ran to her car. Once the keys were in, she started it and drove out impatiently to the traffic. She tried calling Castle again just to let him know she was coming. When he didn't pick up, she realized that was probably for the better. If he knew she was coming, he wouldn't let her in.

In the darkness of New York at night, she realized she'd never felt so good in her life. She was still alive. She was still breathing. And then there was Castle. What he'd done for her was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for her.

He had been there for her, even when she didn't want him to be. That's what meant the most to her. He was willing to stick by her side through practically anything.

That was the reason she so desperately hoped she hadn't gone too far. That's why she realized she was so stupid and blind to think he was pulling away because he didn't care for her. Turns out, it was the exact opposite.

She wouldn't regret the past. That was something she promised herself she wouldn't do. Kate promised that she would learn from mistakes and not regret the lesson they taught her, no matter how hard that lesson may be. Castle couldn't be a part of that lesson, too. She'd lost enough.

When she reached his place, her heart began to beat a little in nervousness. She had no idea what to do with herself, let alone how to fully apologize to Castle and make him understand. She wasn't quite ready to talk to him.

So even in the pouring down rain, she went to the swing set and stayed there for a little while. When she felt slightly more confident, she walked back to Castle's place.

Step by step, she took the stairs up instead of the elevator. Right now, she just needed to be doing something other than waiting. She'd done far too much of that lately. It was time to take action. When she reached his door, her heart pounded.

_What if he isn't home?_ she wondered.

With her still aching fingers, she pulled out her cell phone one last time. She dialed his number and heard the phone ring inside. He didn't answer, she was glad.

One more moment before she would be ready. That wall was coming down today. Leaning against the wall next to his door, she touched her scar from the bullet nearly one year ago to the day. It was simply one of the many scars she carried with her from her mother's death, but today, those scars would begin to fade.

She took one last deep breath before turning around and knocking on his door.

In moments, he opened the door and she saw his face. Her heart's beating picked up fiercely at the sight of him. Her voice wouldn't work.

"Beckett, what do you want?"

Here it comes. "You," she replied in a soft whisper. She took one step. Then another. She cupped his face and kissed him tenderly. She gently grazed his cheek with her thumb when she pulled away from the kiss. Slowly, she moved her hands down to his shoulders while her forehead rested on his. "I'm so sorry, Castle. I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I'm so sorry," she repeated once more, for she could never say it enough. Kate kissed his lips once more, but he gently pushed her away.

He looked into her tearful eyes and grabbed her hands. Her gaze fell to their hands when he asked her, "What happened?"

Kate looked up to him and said, "He got away, and I didn't care." She paused. The wall was on the verge of falling to rubble. She was almost there. "I almost died, and all I could think about was you." And with that final word, the wall was gone. She could barely look in his eyes. She had no idea what to expect. "I just want you."

She reached for another kiss, but stopped because he wasn't reaching back. She pulled away and gazed into his eyes as she ran her fingers down his cheek. Thunder crackled outside as Castle pushed her gently to the wall, closing the door. His lips met hers and their hands explored each other's soft skin. His hand rested in her dripping hair.

She wrapped her arms around him as he softly kissed her neck before they resumed their kiss. He felt so exhilarating to her. It was past sexual attraction. It was _him_. It was everything about what made him _him_ that she loved, that her body loved. He made his way down again and she lost herself in the beauty, the perfection of the moment.

When he gently undid her buttons and revealed the scar of the bullet, she knew he was unsure of how to proceed. Kate gently touched his hand, then his cheek as they kissed each other back. As her eyes opened, she saw the forgiveness in his eyes. A smile made its way on her features. The moment was all she could have hoped for. The moment was pure perfection.

As she slowly and sweetly entwined her fingers with his, she looked into his eyes and new that things would only get better from there. Sweetly, she lead him towards the room with her hand still in his.

Yes, things could only get better from there.

* * *

_So I've seen tons of Post Always oneshots, but not one that's gone through how Beckett felt in the moments leading up to the final scene. I figured I would post my take on it and see how close it was to your own. So with that being said, I would like you to review and tell me how you feel about this scene and how I portrayed it._


End file.
